A Map For Saturday

A Map For Saturday, has easily become one of my favorite documentaries. It's inspirational to see someone in their mid-twenties leave a good job, and put it all on the line for a project that they believe in. It's certainly admirable and courageous, as it's not something the average person can do.

The film is incredibly touching and personal, as you witness a complete transformation of one's character through a year of travel. At the end of the film, we see an entirely different person than the one who started the journey back in New York City.

The essence of travel is wonderfully captured, as it offers insight into the mindset of fellow travelers and a window into the rest of the world. The film also offers a unique perspective of what it was like to be an American traveling during the George Bush era. Highly recommended.



What I realized—not just about myself but about the world—is that time and money are commodities with an inverse relationship; to get one you need to spend the other. And I realized, for me, time is a more valuable commodity than money... our society is built on the premise we should want more money so we can have more things, even if we don’t really have the free time to use those things.--Brook Silva-Braga

Don't Get Duffilled

"Travel is glamorous only in retrospect."--Paul Theroux

This quote rings true, as we often tend to forget about all the frustrations and loneliness of solo travel, after the fact.

More so in Paul Theroux's epic four month journey in 1975 by train through Europe, the Middle Easy, India, Asia and back through Russia. I can't even begin to fathom the amount of patience and strength it takes to embark on such a trip; especially during the mid-seventies. Theroux, extremely observant in his surroundings and those he encounters on a day to day basis, make this book. Some of the people he meets along the way you can't make up if you tried.

For me, this book has painted a picture of a world that I never knew existed.

A Renewed Appreciation

After traveling abroad, I found myself appreciating certain liberties that can be sometimes taken for granted in America, after experiencing first hand what it's like to have the smaller things in life removed from the equation.

Brazil | Safety

You can't walk around Rio De Janeiro by yourself after sundown, without worrying about a group of kids mugging you at knife point. It felt comforting to return home and be able to walk around Manhattan and Jersey City freely, after dark.

Japan | Diversity

America is a melting pot, and once I was in Japan, I quickly realized how much I took our diversity for granted.

New Zealand | Convenience

It's not fun when you go to bed hungry after returning home from a hike because the town shuts down at 5:00pm

Australia | Food

Slices of pizza do not exist in Australia, only smaller personal pies. Good sushi is even harder to find.

Thailand | Free Speech

When I was traveling in Thailand, an Australian writer was sentenced to three years in a Thai prison for criticizing the Monarchy, in a self-published book, that barely anyone read.

2010 and beyond.

The harsh reality of being unemployed has settled in. I need a full time job so I can support myself again. The job hunt in this economy can be a bit depressing, extremely frustrating, and very discouraging. I feel a sense of guilt, an overbearing burden, when I pursue an activity that isn't job related now.

Last year, I was much more selective in my job search and wasn't as aggressive as I should be. I took the year off to freelance and travel, as I tried to steer my career in the direction that I felt it should go in. Now, it's time to swallow my pride and apply for jobs that are underpaid, outside my industry, and jobs that I am overqualified for. The economy is still grim and the reality of the situation is it's an employer's market.

I think last year was a reaction to the few years I spent simultaneously working full time, producing a film, and freelancing. It burnt me out. Upon falling off the treadmill known as the rat race, travel was my way of putting a positive spin on a negative situation. Life is wonderful, and should be enjoyed, when you have the ability to do so. Thankfully, freelancing throughout last year has allowed me to close any resume gaps that most people would have after a year off, and after a few interviews, it hasn't been a problem.

For most, It's hard to fathom the realities of unemployment, when gainfully employed. Some make finding a job in this economy seem like a cake walk. On the other hand, it's ironic that so many people wish they could get laid off and be in my position, as it's really not that fun (well, last year was fun) when you are clawing to get back into the industry you were kicked out of.

I am now living on my friend Chase's couch in Brooklyn for the next month. I thought it'd be a great environment to inspire me to get back into the swing of things. Part of me feels detached from the corporate world, a few steps behind. I feel like my worldview has changed drastically and I am figuring out how to best deal with it.

Living on a couch is great. A backpack full of clothes, a laptop, a few books, my ipod, and my magic bullet blender are all I really need. Traveling has taught me to live simply. At this point, too many possessions give me anxiety. I prefer a minimalist environment these days.

I've cut back my alcohol consumption, eating out, and a few hobbies. It's become clear what I value most; travel and new experiences. In order to continue my travels, I need to cut back frivolous and unnecessary spending. This means living below my means rather above them, despite having the money to afford said items. It's not broke, it's mindful spending. This will allow me to still take smaller trips, such as Ireland for St. Patricks day.

When I envision the next couple years, I see a new film on the horizon and more long term travel after the film is complete. I'm also interested in eventually going back to school; learning a discipline that isn't a hobby. I now understand the importance of having multiple income streams; not putting all my eggs in one basket. Unfortunately, most learn this lesson only after they've been laid off.

In regards to long term travel, I'd like to travel through Africa with a Panasonic HVX camera and find a human interest story that I can turn into a documentary. After a year of aimless travel, I'd like to marry my passions and produce a worthwhile project.

Of course, extended time off requires financial independence, which means working a full time for the next few years while I buckle down and save money.

Now...I just need to find a job!

Land of the long white cloud

Life Down Under

Rexaminning Priorities

I think I've finally found a hobby that is much more rewarding than certain other hobbies/interests of mine...

HDTV-- $1,500



Gibson SG Guitar- $1200


Digital SLR Camera- $1,500


Iphone- $300


New Ski’s- $500



Vs.

South Africa


Egypt


Italy


Nepal


Peru

Destiny never came

I never believed in destiny or fate, however, after this past year, I almost fell for it. Sometimes it seems like it was all meant to be. Like everything was meant to unfold in perfect symmetry. I remind myself that this cohesiveness only holds true if we are observant of our surroundings. So much can pass by unnoticed. The dots aren't connected for us- we connect our own and assemble them whichever way we choose. A random universe; the world is set in motion independent of our own thoughts and actions.

Looking back, I’ve seen where other decisions would have taken me. I caught glimpses of what could have been. It’s like navigating through a series of mazes. With each turn, awaits your next move. Sometimes things turn out for the better, sometimes they don’t, but just know you are never trapped. Navigate with your mind's eye rather than a blind eye.

Through my eyes

"He (man) adamantly refuses to acknowledge that within the immediate focus of vision is the source of revelation. In a rock, he sees nothing more than a rock, in a flower nothing more than a flower and in man nothing more than man...If the gate will not give way it must be forced. Nothing can dam the rising tide. And all the evidence points to the fact that the tide is rising. Let man make himself as secure as he imagines, the gate will give way."

I am struggling with the concept that everywhere and everyone is the same, yet no one person or place is similar.

Why hike in Australia when you can go hike in America? Why travel 20 hours to sit on an isolated beach in New Zealand when you can hop on a short flight to Mexico? I think this perspective is quite popular, especially in America. If you view each location as strictly activity based, (relaxing on a beach, the act of hiking itself), then yes, everywhere can be the same.

So what set locations apart? The first answer is obvious (and a bit boring), the difference is in geological features; sand, surf, location, size, etc. Australia's unique landscapes and ecosystems are entirely different than Mexico, or the Bahamas for instance.

The second answer, I would argue, are the experiences we attribute to each destination. From this perspective, a beach is not just a beach. Our feelings, social interactions and personal realizations; these are what separate beaches from beaches, mountains from mountains. This world is a blank slate. We leave mental footprints, wherever we journey to; our memories and experiences define and set locations apart. I can assure you I was a much different person on the beaches of Thailand, than I was standing on the coastline of Australia, taking it all in. Two extremely different mindsets.

It's the same way a photo is not just a photo. It’s how each individual person see’s the world through their own eyes. We all see something differently, despite experiencing and viewing the same thing. Different results will always be produced.

Journey, and journey far.

We called it America

“You aren’t an American until you leave America.”

A wonderful quote by Henry Rollins. He penned this in his tour journal when he was touring the UK in the 80’s. As Americans, how do we know how the rest of the world views us, if we never leave our own country?

By spending time abroad and interacting with other culture's, you truly see how American’s are viewed by the rest of the world, both negatively and positively. Whether it's having conversations in hostels with Europeans, or going out to meet the locals in Brazil, Thailand or Japan, there is always something new to learn about your country, from a foreigners perspective.

We fell in love with familiarity

"There are several sort of ills in the world from which a person can never escape altogether, let him journey as far as he will. One escapes from one breed of an ill only to encounter another breed of it"--Mark Twain

This got me thinking, where do the majority of our problems come from? Are most societal? Is it through the pursuit of a desired lifestyle that causes our stress? Do we simply want because we are taught to want? A big home (plus a vacation home), a luxury vehicle, lavish vacations, the latest gadgets, big salaries, etc. As our salaries increase, so do our lifestyles, rather than our savings accounts. How often do we judge ourselves against our family, friends and neighbors? Is life one big race? A race even worth participating in?

I often wonder, those who have the least have the most. After visiting New Zealand’s south island, I was nearly convinced. This middle aged man, originally from London, cut my hair one afternoon in the small town of Nelson. He lives simply and gets by running a barber shop. He fishes every weekend and enjoys life amongst nature. He spoke about how he could have had a chain of barber shops in London or even Auckland; An educated man far from ambitionless, yet a man who simply had other desires than material success.

I thought to myself, how great it would be to be free from America’s grasp. How nice it must be to live in an area that is not full of pretension, so hell bent on status, such as New York City. How nice it must be to be surrounded by people who aren’t jaded by other human beings. An open society that isn't so obsessed by class structure . A place that boasts low instances of corruption and even lower instances of crime. Four million people spread out over two islands-- Breathing room. More wildlife than humans. No traffic means less congestion, which means less stress. People who are genuine, kind for the sake of kindness. On the surface, it seems that New Zealand's south island is unspoiled by man, or at least, not as spoiled like other areas of the world.

Undoubtedly, the quality of life is much greater in New Zealand and Australia, but at what cost? Many people find the cost of living very expensive compared to the average wages. Limited job opportunities. A lack of overall convenience and flexibility (towns shut down at 5pm). The weather can be extremely unpredictable and the chance of natural disasters high. It's safe to say, everywhere as it's downsides.

How about those looking to relocate because they are running from themselves? Nowhere in the world will help you deal with skeleton's in the closet; jealousy, hatred, depression, addiction, loneliness. All of us have a past. Vices follow. Know and free yourself before searching for a suitable lifestyle. At least that's what I tell myself. I do believe that paradise can be anywhere you make it out to be. It's a state of mind. We can't escape ourselves nor man, but we can find that ideal place that we've been searching for when the time is right.

Give in

“Harmony, serenity , bliss do not come from struggle but from surrender.”--Henry Miller

This hit me like a brick while I was reading Miller in Melbourne.

Previously, I had believed that the only way someone can affect your life, romantically, is through a long term relationship, however, after this year, I am beginning to see things a bit differently.

Think about it-- We spend so much time agonizing over someone who ultimately plays into such a small part of our lives. What is 6 months with someone compared to another 600 months on this planet? I believe life to be long and grand, yet we spend days, months and sometimes years fixated on a former love, who is but a mere page in a much longer book.

The fact that someone you’ve known for just a few weeks can affect your life so profoundly is truly a wonder. It'd be foolish to call it love. Infatuation, maybe. Or perhaps, it's simply recognizing the long term potential of someone you spent such a small amount of time with.

We must also be aware of our subconscious, as we often try to fill voids. Sometimes, I think when we are feeling a bit lonely, we default back to a previous love; a safety net, "Maybe this person was the one after all." As my good friend once said, “everyone is the one”. Then, conveniently, we meet someone new and our default love who was supposedly 'the one' slowly fades back into our past. After all, do most of us just want a warm body? Do we crave affection more than the desire to be understood? Is all we care about comfort?

Time2Climb

With all the trips I have taken, none have been specifically geared towards any particular hobby of mine; I always want to see as much as possible. Being that I backpacked through Australia and New Zealand, I left my diving and climbing gear at home; too much to lug around. I always try to arrange my schedule so I can accommodate hobbies of mine, but with having such limited time in any given location, I sometimes I miss my window of opportunity due to a variety of reasons.

In Thailand, I had miscommunication issues; I allotted myself two days to climb and unfortunately due to language barriers, I was booked for a top rope climb rather than a deep water soloing trip (climbing over the ocean). Deep water soloing is rather unique and I ended up missing out. Shit happens, oh well.

While in Australia, I had a problem with the weather. With the few days that I had scheduled to climb, it turned out to be Australia's hottest November (100 degrees) in the last 80 years. There was one local climber who advised me to wait a week for the weather to cool but I couldn't afford to do that as I had only 4 days to get to Port Lincoln to dive with the Great White Sharks.

In contrast, everyone staying in the Grampians National Park hostel had planned to spend a significant amount of time in the area just to climb. So, the goal for me was to track down a crash pad, climbing partners and to avoid hiring a guide for $350.

While the Grampians and Mt. Arapiles offer world renowned climbing, the climbing community is still very small. There isn't much information available on-line aside from a few 90's looking websites, books and word of mouth. I found that through word of the mouth was the most effective way which I think is pretty remarkable and lucky.

Here is how I tracked down a climbing pad and found a community of climbers--

While I was in Melbourne, I was talking to a guy named 'Stu Balls' about heading to the Grampians to do some climbing. He recommended that I stay at 'Tim's Place'; the owner is a climber and that's where many climbers stay as well. A step in the right direction...

Once I rented a car and checked into Tim's place, I met Chris, an older gentlemen who was staying in the hostel. Chris is local to the area and during the 1970's, he was one of the pioneers of the Australian climbing movement. He now owns a company where he teaches students how to climb. I mentioned to him that I was looking to rent a crash pad, if possible. Since the climbing community is very small, Chris put me in touch with his friend Phil. Phil owns the only climbing shop in the area.

From Chris' mobile, I spoke with Phil. I explained to Phil that I was a backpacker passing through the Grampians and was looking for some climbing gear. Phil explained that he normally doesn't rent crash pads but he would make an exception and rent a pad out for 25 dollars since many people have asked in the past.

The only issue was working out logistics. I'd have to drive an hour and a half to pick up the pad and boulder in the Mt. Arapiles the next morning. The next thing Phil and I had to work out was the drop off schedule. Phil was going to be out of town for a few days. I agreed to drop it off 2 days later at the shop next door to his, a milk bar (general store).

Meanwhile, back at the hostel I met some wonderful climbing friends. Sabine from Austria and Arnuad from France. They had gear but no car to get them to the mountains. Arnaud was working in the town and using his days off to climb and Sabine was just passing through. Since I had a car and they had gear, things worked out nicely. We decided to climb

The first day of climbing by myself was absolutely brutal. I drove an hour and a half to Mt. Arapiles, picked up the pad then by 12:00pm I was climbing. I only lasted an hour in the 100 degree heat. I must also mention how annoying the Australia flies are. At least ten flies will swarm around your head and follow you wherever you go. Nothing keeps them away, aside from having to constantly swat at them. Some call this the Aussie salute.

The day after, I went climbing with Sabine and Arnaud. We awoke at 6:00am to beat the heat. It turned out to be a 15 hour day of climbing, hiking and abseiling. They even taught me how to trad. climb, something I've never done before. The next day I said goodbye and drove 5 hours to Adelaide.

Gateways

I am currently sitting in the shade of a tree at the Royal Botanical Gardens of Melbourne. I am still reading Henry Miller’s, “Stand still like the hummingbird.”. It’s such an inspiring thought provoking read that I find myself relating to the majority of concepts he discusses in his essays.



He got me thinking about education and how we raise our children, with the following quote:

“No parent, or instructor, can possibly foresee which book or books, which sentence, which thought, which phrase sometimes it may be that will open the doors of vision for the child. We are given so much learned, pompous talk about reading for instruction, reading for inspiration, reading for a purpose and so on. What we learn, of value, we get indirectly , largely unconsciously.”

The gateway that led me to where I am today is music. That was my tool for discovery. That’s what opened the world to me. It allowed me to explore outside my religion, outside my country and outside of what I was taught in school. I never cared for history, politics or any other subject for that matter. Sure, I did the work, but it never full capture my interest. It’s dangerous to assume that every child will find inspiration through recycled stale curriculum.

In my opinion, creativity and experience is what’s missing from the equation. We tell children what they are supposed to learn but give no reason for why they should learn it. We don’t let them discover their own motivation, their own vehicle for thought aside for the excuse “this is what you are supposed to do.”

Children should learn how to think instead of being taught what to think. Why indoctrinate a young child into a set of religious principles at such a young age? Why should children be fed just one perspective of how the world should work? Let them find their own truth, rather than living with the fear that if you do not guide someone, they will not find their way.

Small World.

When I was waiting to board my flight from San Francisco to Sydney, I noticed a fellow passenger wearing an underdog t-shirt (an obscure hardcore band from New Jersey) along with camo shorts and a full leg of tattoos. As I watched him board the plane, I assumed he must be from South Jersey and thought he was headed to Australia to do some surfing.



A few days later in Melbourne, I went to see trapped under ice, a small hardcore band from Baltimore who are currently doing a string of shows down under. Always wanting to check out a hardcore show abroad, I went.

While checking out the bands merchandise tables, I noticed the guy from my flight sitting behind one of the tables. As I introduced myself he mentioned that he recognized me as the guy wearing the Reign Supreme hoody on the San Fran flight. It turns out his name was Dave and he plays in the Philly band Blacklisted (currently one of my favorite bands.) He explained that he was in Australia earlier in the year with Blacklisted and he had returned to come hang out for the TUI shows.

I am surprised I didn’t make the connection earlier; that the one guy wearing a hardcore shirt on the plane would be at the only hardcore show in Melbourne. Regardless, I look forward to seeing Blacklisted in NYC in January, now having ran into the bass player.

As for the show itself, it’s fascinating to see how much hardcore has spread over the years; to South Africa , Australia, Korea and Malaysia. The fact that a small, young hardcore band such as TUI can tour the world is nothing short of amazing. It’s also funny to witness America’s influence on the rest of the world, even within the hardcore scene. Everyone now wears the same outfit across the globe…

Stranded in San Fran.

I write this from a park bench in the neighborhood of Hayes Valley, San Francisco. Last night I missed my connecting flight to Sydney and spent the night in the airport. With the ridiculous prices that hotels charge just to rest your head, I'd much rather have a free and somewhat uncomfortable nights sleep at Gate 68 in the airport.

Our Vice President Joe Biden was the cause for dozens of delayed flights out of Newark last night. Apparently air traffic control clears the air ways for presidential travel. Too good for amtrak now, Joe?

In my downtime, I started Henry Miller's book, "Stand Still Like The Hummingbird." It's a collection of essays that focus on his philosophy of life. I got into Henry Miller's work through the lead singer of the band Vision of Disorder. I noticed he listed Miller as his favorite author and I felt inclined to check out his work.

In his essay "Hour of Man", he discusses the consequences of man's narrow mindedness; our inability to view the world from different perspectives other than our own. It's our arrogance and stubbornness that will ultimately halt forward thinking. We need to look beyond ourselves and the situations we find ourselves in; to find something more than what is presented at face value.

With that said, travel breeds patience. It gives us the ability to accept and look past situations that are out of our control. Instead of viewing my delayed flight as a misfortune or lost day in Australia, I now have the chance to relax under the California sun. Sure, I have to spend 10 hours on the streets, wear the same clothes and forgo showering for a day, but that's life!

We move too fast to remember.

'I'm healthy. Incurably healthy. No sorrows, No regrets. No past, no future. The present is enough for me. Day by day. Today! Le bel aujourd'hui!"-Henry Miller

Welcome, autumn and all that embodies this wonderful season; pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin soup, shipyard pumpkin ale, fall hikes and a brisk chill in the air. October also marks my 10th month of unemployment, which makes me realize how quickly this year has went.

Within a blink of an eye, I found myself driving a U-Haul van through New York to help Chase move his life into storage. It feels like this year never happened, as if I was gone longer than I was here. In one more week, I will be no longer living in Jersey City as well.

At the start of this year, I promised myself that I would continue to travel as long as I could maintain what was in my savings account at the beginning of the year. Whatever I made this year in freelance work would be spent traveling.

After a great deal of freelance work in September coupled with the fact that my lease is coming to an end, I have decided to take a two month trip to Australia and New Zealand.

Freedom can sometimes be completely daunting. At times, even unnatural. When I ask myself why I am spending another 2 months abroad, my gut reminds me, because I can. I have the time and the money, so why not? It's that simple (aside from the fact that it's a personal goal to visit 6/7 continents by the time I am 30.)

I think this feeling stems from the fact that we are accustom to working 40 hours a week for years on end. While there is nothing inherently wrong with making an honest living and working 40 hours a week, anything other than that lifestyle can sometimes seem foreign to us. It can feel wrong. But why should it?

With my time off this year, I've realized that my self-worth is not dependent upon what I do for a living. It certainly does not make me who I am. Sometimes if you take the work out of a man, he can feel worthless, as if he no longer has a purpose. It truly is a test to find meaning in this life, after you have removed work from the equation.

Many people often ask me, "What do you do all day since you aren't working?" I usually respond by saying, I've gotten very good at just existing. By just getting up each day, chatting with friends and listening to music, I feel good. That's what I do.

With all that said, come January I will have no place to live (I'll most likely be on my friends couch in Brooklyn) and I still won't have a full time job. I am finally getting the desire to return to full time work. A feeling that I have not felt all year. It's almost time. Could it be that after Australia and New Zealand that my travel bug will subside for the time being?

In part, it's due to the fact that I will be bleeding money out the ass. Between two months of travel and needing to buy a new computer for my freelance jobs, I am feeling the need to get back on track financially for 2010.

Rebel, Destroy, Assinate.

You can find me here
with an open heart and ears
Refusing to surrender
I can't believe they don't remember
what it feels like to be young--H20

The other day my friend sent me an old music compilation from 1996 (Fat Wreck Chords- Survival Of The Fattest). Upon listening to it again, thirteen years later, it immediately brought me back to my middle school days. It was surreal. I can remember exactly how I felt at age 13 when listening to these songs. There was nothing greater than being a young naive teenager with a whole world of music waiting to be discovered.

The music that I listened to in my youth is still as relevant and meaningful today as it was in '96. This ultimately speaks to the power of music and it's ability to transform and transcend time.

When you look at mainstream culture and it's ability to recycle and bastardize music, how many people can say they are still listening to the same music that they were as a kid? Is my generation still listening to the 1996 smash hit "C'mon and Ride it (The Train)" or are they now listening to "Circus" by Britney Spears?

I am glad I got involved in a culture that had substance and a message. I remember what it was like to be a young kid waiting anxiously for a band's demo in the mail. I'd check the mailbox everyday during summer to see if anything had arrived. I would also order bands blindly out of catalogs to discover new music (this was before the internet).

As I got older and formed my own band, I was able to give back to a scene that ultimately shaped my values and work ethic. I would constantly make trips to my college post office and mail out demo's to kids in California, Georgia and Texas. I remember what it felt like to be young and if sending these demo's out made only a handful of kids happy, then I felt like I did my part.

A simpler time.

Henry Miller is to Brazil as Charles Bukowski is to Thailand.

"We breathe warmly into each others mouth. Close together, America three thousand miles away. I never want to see it again. To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth--I count that something as a miracle. Nothing can happen now till morning..."--Henry Miller



"Your writing," she said to me, "it's so raw. It's like a sledge hammer, and yet it has humor and tenderness..."

"Yeah," I said.

I put my drink down and looked at her. I cupped her chin in my hand and drew her towards me. I gave her the tiniest kiss."

Generation to Generation...

Have you ever thought about what our parents were doing at our age? While I don't feel like I have to meet any expectations set forth by my parents -or feel any pressure to do so- it's an interesting thought to entertain. I often look at my friends and wonder where we will be in ten years. Are we anything like our parents?

Will our accomplishments be the same as our parents or will they differ? If I choose to have a family, will I be able to give them the kind of life my father gave me? Will I be as successful in my career as my father was with his? Will I be around to take care of my parents in their old age, like my parents were for their parents? How will the dynamics of my marriage differ than that of my parents relationship?

Out of everything I have listed, perhaps I feel most motivated to improve upon my father's shortcomings than attempt to emulate his success. For example, those growing up without a loving father may feel much more motivated to be a great father to their own kids. Similarly, if your parents don't have the best relationship, that may increase your desire to work harder at your own relationships. I don't believe in the perfect family, but I do believe you can use the past to form a better tomorrow.

It's also interesting to see the parallels between my father and I. Thanks to my father, I am a skier, musician and scuba diver. In his late twenties, my father played in a wedding band for supplemental income; I shoot weddings. My father's traveled to remote places around to world , as I have too. He used to scuba dive illegally in quarries; I cliff jump illegally in quarries. My father's passion for jazz is much like mine for hardcore. Yet, for all that he has accomplished, he is the most humble, selfless man you'll ever meet.

"For those I love, I will sacrifice."--Indecision