Leave the things you don't need...

From Thailand

Towards the end of my trip to Thailand, I spent some time up north in Chang Mai. One night while I was out I met this girl from Ireland; she was in town for a few nights before heading to Vietnam for volunteer work. Our conversation naturally led to the current state of the global economy and it was in that conversation/moment that I finally understood that this recession needed to happen and that it's for the best...if you have the ability to learn from it.

The recession may have reshaped many American's standards of living, perhaps permanently, but I believe there is a silver lining to be seen here. Unemployment is very humbling indeed, but I've learned that I can get by on far less than I thought I could. This is in part due to need vs. want mentality in American culture.

While I was working full-time I always put away twenty percent of my monthly income into savings and still had disposable income left over to enjoy myself. Yet, for some reason I still occasionally stressed about money (I need to be making more, I don't have enough disposable income to buy what I want, I need to be saving more, etc).

However, when viewing this 1st world problem from a global perspective you realize that, what passes for the middle class in America could pass for the upper class in most of the rest of the world. Ironically, when you look at the statistics, American's have one of the worst personal savings rate in the world. How could one of the wealthiest countries in the world be absolutely broke? Consumerism? Out of control spending to support our "lifestyles"? The more we make the more we spend.

Wants have become interchangeable with our needs. This mentality is so common in our culture that it's embedded in our subconscious. More often than not we prioritize our wants over our needs. ("I can't afford to pay this high gas bill, but I can afford these $120 sneakers"). Just the other day I looked down at my 3-year old jeans and thought, "I need new jeans, these are worn out". I caught myself and realized that I don't actually NEED a new pair. Sure, I would like new jeans but it's truly not a necessity at the moment.

We are told to spend, spend, spend to get the economy back on track, so once we are actually back on track, we can keep spending, spending and spending on useless junk. It seems like a broken cycle to me. How about saving and producing?

In terms of jobs, we've lost 3.6 million jobs over the last 13 months. Some of these jobs will never be replaced and some people will never be able to return to the industry they were working in (myself included). When I look at my previous job I ask myself, was I truly happy? What did I actually contribute to society? All I did was push product on consumers so they'd buy that new HDTV from JVC.

This recession has allowed me to take time to figure out what I truly want to do. I'm unsure if I want to continue as a video editor or try something else. I feel that an answer is close but in the meantime, I'm grateful that I am not stuck somewhere I don't want to be (Let's hope I avoid this next time around).

And with all the traveling I have done, I've realized I'm just as alive sea kayaking in Thailand as I am sitting in the park in Jersey City reading a book. Much like staying in and cooking Mexican is just as amazing as dining out in a fancy restaurant. Whether it's a beautiful summer day or a cold dark rainy day, I won't allow external forces to dictate my mood.

Rediscover, Reinvent, Reconnect.

"From birth to death, from Monday to Monday, from morning to evening- all activities are routinized, and prefabricated. How should a man caught in this net of routine not forget that he is a man, a unique individual, one who is given only this one chance of living, with hopes and disappointments, with sorrow and fear, with the longing of love and the dread of the nothing and of separateness?"--Erich Fromm

I've been unemployed since early January and have been traveling on and off for the past two months. Yesterday I woke up on a Monday morning and decided to book a flight to Rio De Janeiro, Brazil for my birthday.

Now, most finance blogs that I subscribe to do not recommend traveling the world while unemployed. In fact, they recommend just the opposite; cut unnecessary expenses and focus on getting a job as soon as possible. However, I've found that my most irrational choices in life have always been the most rewarding,

For me, now is the time to do what I want. Now is the time to live my life. This may be the only chance I have where I will have consecutive months off at a time, quite possibly until I am retired. No wife, kids or a mortgage... no permanence in my life and no major responsibilities. How much can I experience and how much ground can I cover in 3 months while everyone is sitting in their cubicals day in and day out?

I have 5 more months left of unemployment and the job market is not improving. Is it possible that all this traveling may blow up in my face months down the road? Yes, but it's a chance I am willing to take.

While I am home for the time being, I have taken the time to make sure I do not get too comfortable and/or lazy; I rise early (as long as it's nice out), make breakfast, read the morning news (while enjoying some tea), work on tutorials in design and web development, blog, make amazing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with bananas (and eat them outdoors), pirate music and programs (not ships), have inappropriate conversations with Eric on G-mail, play guitar, run (I ate and drank my way across America). Nights usually consist of rock climbing, meditation, reading, music (and sometimes going to corner bar with Chase to have a beer, or two, or three).

In terms of finances, I used my frequent flyer miles to purchase the trip to Brazil for $51 dollars (taxes). I also made it a point to book several freelance jobs over the summer to finance the trip, pay back taxes on my unemployment and cover my rent for the last two months if I still can't find a job in the fall. Ultimately, my goal is not to dip into my emergency fund, but I am prepared to do so if need be.

Until then...Rediscover, reinvent, reconnect. Take a step back and ask yourself what's truly yours in life. Brazil...because I can.

A misunderstanding of time.

In the last forty-five days I have driven over 9,000 miles and 100+ hours. Several people have asked me if it was difficult driving such long distances by myself. My mindset while driving is as follows;

If I only exist in the present and I am constantly being reborn then that would help explain why my 16 hour drive to Chicago seemed like it never happened. Essentially, my drive to Chicago was only a few hours. The 'me' who started the drive 16 hours ago in Colorado is not the same "me" who's just two hours outside of Chicago. If we are mindful of our present selves then time ultimately does not exist in relation to our prior selves.

Coincidentally, once I got to Chicago I noticed the book "Hardcore Zen" by Brad Warner in my friends apartment. A book I read a few years ago. I picked the book up and turned to a random page which just happened to be discussing the very same concept of time.

"But in truth, we die all the time...Every moment of every day we die. Where is the person who lost your virginity? Where is the person who woke up bleary-eyed and crabby yesterday morning? Are you that person? Where is the person who will fill your casket?

The moment you were born was you. The moment you die will be you. This moment right now is you. There is no difference between this moment and yourself. You live through a million you/moments ever single second. Being and time are not two things. Moments of you whip by so fast you can't possibly notice them, just like movies create the illusion of movement. The illusion of time is created by moments of you whizzing by so fast they make the standard film speed of twenty-four frames per second look glacial.

Real time is just this moment. That's all there is. Past and future are just ideas."

Love...just another commodity?

In the last few months I've come across a couple of excellent books discussing Western culture and our beliefs/attitudes towards love.

While my brother was home from college break he left a book lying around the house entitled, "The Art Of Loving" by psychoanalyst Erich Fromm. The book was written in 1956 and was interesting enough for me to pick up for my trip to Thailand. Additionally, just last week, Steven Levitt, author of Freakanomics, blogged about a new book from sociologist Andrew Cherlin called, "The Marriage Go-Round" which caught my attention.

Cherlin's research provides insight into the sociological factors that contribute to the startling fact that in America we have more marriages and remarriages, more divorces, and more short-term cohabiting relationships than any other western country.

According to Cherlin there are two conflicting ideals in American culture. First, marriage is considered as one of the great milestones in a young adult's life. A significant emphasis is placed on finding one's soul mate/partner. While America has a higher marriage rate than most countries, there is also the contrasting ideology of individualism. We tend to evaluate our marriages according to how personally fulfilling we find the relationship; that is, living a personally fulfilling life that allows us to grow and develop as individuals.

Fromm believes most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of love, of one's capacity to love. The problem arises, how to be loved, how to be lovable. Therefore, Fromm suggests that our capitalistic society influences our human relations in love; "A culture where material success is the outstanding value, there is little reason to be surprised that human love relations follow the same pattern". Instead of learning how to love, we become consumed with making ourselves desirable to the opposite sex.

Finally, most American's confuse the initial experience of 'falling in love' vs. the permanent state of being love, according to Fromm. Initial infatuation does not always translate into one's intensity of love for another. With relationships we always tend to move at an accelerated speed and Cherlin suggests that it's best just to slow down, what's the rush?

2009: The Beautiful Struggle

Well, 2009 has brought upon some unexpected change in my life.

Did I ever think I'd be traveling 9,000 miles to a foreign country by myself? Driving 9,000 miles down, up, and across America? Never.

2009 to me, serves as a reminder that you never really know just what will happen in life. In a blink of an eye your entire world can collapse down upon you. And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. Life is one big beautiful struggle. After all, the grass is always greener on whatever side I am standing on.

2008

In a few short months it will be a year since Noah and I traveled to Japan. Looking back from the person I was then and the person I am now, so much has changed in the interim.

The first eleventh months of 2008 were extremely positive, however, come December I started to unravel at the seams. I began to see a steady decline in projects at work and by the end of the year I had absolutely no work coming in. Everyday I came into work thinking it'd be my last day. It's a very eerie feeling when you know your days are numbered and your future is entirely out of your hands.

With the cold, dark, winter days and a decrease in productivity, I constantly monitored the grim economic news eight hours a day. It got to the point where I was so paranoid that the U.S dollar was going to collapse I was ready to buy shit load's of gold. GOLD GOLD GOLD! WE NEED TO BUY GOLD BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

And after some amazing skiing in Vail and a very anti-climatic New Years spent with friends and a significant other, 2009 arrives.

2009

Jan. 5th: Lost someone I was dating.
Jan. 6th - 7th: Depressed in the office.
Jan. 8th: Lost the job.
Jan. 9th: Purchase a ticket to Thailand

The first week of 2009 was awful, as I was a complete mess, an emotional wreck. As they say, traveling always cures what ails you. It is now April and I have come a long way since the first week of January. I've seen and experienced more in the last few months than some people will ever see in their lifetime and for that I am grateful and incredibly lucky to be where I am today. No regrets.



THAILAND

From Thailand

From Thailand

From Thailand

From Thailand

From Thailand

From Thailand

USA:

From AMERICA!

Austin,TX

From AMERICA!

San Diego,CA

From AMERICA!

Joshua Tree

From AMERICA!

Pacific Coast Highway

From AMERICA!

From AMERICA!

Yosemite

From AMERICA!

Redwoods

From AMERICA!

Colorado

From AMERICA!

From AMERICA!

Something Less?

Inspired by Sam Harris' article with further concepts from social psychologist, Erich Fromm.

Sometimes we become so consumed with various aspects of our lives that we accelerate to the point of not being able to slow down. Today's technological advancements provide us with an endless array of distractions and convenience; It keeps our minds disengaged and idle. We are constantly searching for the next form of distraction to get us through the day.

But what are our motivations for activity? Are we content with just being? What is someone's motivation for working eighty hour weeks compared to someone's motivation for choosing to spend dozens of mindless hours in front of a TV? Is it possible that we are all just trying to escape our insecurities through any means, active or passive ?

Through an Eastern perspective, being passive through concentrated meditation is the highest activity there is, which in return will produce a still, calm mind. Stop searching for the next distraction and harness your free-time and enjoy the now.

"Is there, in other words, a form of happiness that is not contingent upon our merely reiterating our pleasures and successes and avoiding our pains...

Is there a form of happiness that is not dependent upon having one’s favorite food always available to be placed on one’s tongue or having all one’s friends and loved ones within arm’s reach, or having good books to read, or having something to look forward to on the weekend?

Is it possible to be utterly happy before anything happens, before one’s desires get gratified, in spite of life’s inevitable difficulties, in the very midst of physical pain, old age, disease, and death?

Even when everything has gone as well as it can go, the search for happiness continues, the effort required to keep doubt and dissatisfaction and boredom at bay continues, moment to moment."--Sam Harris